Breaking Limitations
“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours.”
-Richard Bach-
HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS
When was the last time you decided you wanted something, started the process of trying to get it and then gave up?
When was the last time you tried something and failed?
What did you tell yourself about the reason for your failure?
If like the majority of people, you gave up and labelled yourself a failure and vowed never to try again then you are letting your limiting beliefs stand in the way of you reaching your potential.
Overcoming limiting beliefs isn’t always easy. They are deeply ingrained in us, quite often from childhood and it can be challenging to begin to unravel and unpick decades of conditioning. But once you discover what they are and how to identify them, you can learn how to overcome them.
Our brains are amazing and malleable which means we can reframe and rewire that conditioning to help us develop new thought processes, thought processes that are limitless rather than limiting.
When you change that narrative your dreams, desires and goals are much easier to achieve.
How do you start the process of overcoming your limiting beliefs?
- IDENTIFY YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS
The first step to overcoming limiting beliefs is to define and identify them. Limiting beliefs are ideas we hold about ourselves and the world that prevent us from becoming the best version of ourselves. They hold us back in a variety of ways, making us feel like we don’t deserve success, that we’re not as good as others and that the world is against us. They usually fall into four areas:
LIMITING BELIEFS ABOUT THE WORLD
These are beliefs about “how things are” – and the belief your circumstances are out of your control.
Examples:
I don’t have time.
True love doesn’t exist.
Fulfilling careers are impossible to find.
Money is the root of evil.
I have a chronic/debilitating illness/disability
These beliefs can be challenging to overcome but they can be overcome when we reframe our thinking from one of barrier to opportunity.
LIMITING BELIEFS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE
Limiting beliefs about other people involve caring what others think of you and the impact of other people’s opinion on your life.
The limiting belief behind social anxiety is often, “Other people will think I’m (stupid/conceited/self-absorbed/selfish/unlovable/awkward….” fill in the blanks.
Looking for perfection stems from this type of limiting belief as well – it’s the belief that others will be disappointed or won’t love you if you don’t act a certain way.
LIMITING BELIEFS ABOUT YOURSELF
Unlike caring what others think, limiting beliefs about yourself happen when you think you are inherently stupid/conceited/self-absorbed/selfish/unlovable/awkward….fill in the blanks”.
Other common self-beliefs include that you’re too old/fat/ugly or you can’t learn new skills.
None of these things are facts. They are just the story you tell yourself – and you can change that story.
ENTITLED BELIEFS
Some limiting beliefs can be disguised as empowerment statements.
Believing that the world owes you something, that you’re better than others or that others just don’t “get” you are often excuses to avoid growth and stay in your comfort zone.
- TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
The number one reason people don’t achieve their goals is because they never take responsibility for their lives. They choose to believe that their circumstances are beyond their control – and things just happen to them.
This is referred to as an external locus of control, and this is a limiting belief in itself.
To learn how to overcome your limiting beliefs, you must develop an internal locus of control: the belief that life happens for you, not to you.
Ultimately your own behaviour determines your fate.
Life is filled with events that are outside our control, but what we can control is how we react to them.
We can master our emotions, find the lessons in failure, make empowering decisions and work toward our goals, no matter what.
- LET GO OF CERTAINTY
Why is overcoming limiting beliefs so difficult? The answer is that we all crave certainty.
A need for certainty is a basic human need as we associate this with comfort and stability but it can also hold us back.
It’s what prevents you from quitting the job you hate. It’s what keeps you in unhealthy relationships with romantic partners and even friends and family.
It’s why you never went travelling with a backpack or wrote that book.
Certainty as safe and secure as it seems – kills dreams.
Certainty and limiting beliefs go hand in hand.
Instead of thinking about what you’ll never do, dream big.
Use the rocking chair test: When you’re old and grey, looking back on your life, what will you most regret? That’s a powerful motivator for overcoming limiting beliefs.
- CHANGE YOUR SELF-TALK
Your limiting beliefs can sometimes occur deep in your subconscious, but more often than not, it is negative self-talk that’s telling you why you can’t, don’t want to or must not do something.
Self-talk is constant, and the more we tell ourselves something, the more we believe it.
Humans have tens of thousands of thoughts each and every single day, and even if a small percentage of those thoughts are of the limiting belief variety, it is still a constant negative narrative running through your head, keeping you stuck and playing small in your life.
Overcoming limiting beliefs starts with noticing how the inner chatter speaks to you.
When you fail or give up on a task, what does it say?
When you’re getting ready to go on a date or go out with friends, does it cheer you on or bring you down?
Write down any negative thoughts and notice which ones come up repeatedly – those are your limiting beliefs.
Make a conscious effort to catch them, stop them and replace them with more empowering thoughts.
Learning how to get rid of limiting beliefs is essential for personal growth and achievement in every area of your life. You are the architect of your life. You are capable of anything. It’s time to stop letting limiting beliefs hold you back.
If you are tired of feeling stuck and want to work on your own limiting beliefs and feel free to live a more fulfilling life.
Contact me to arrange a call and we can discuss how coaching can help you.