Mind the Gap

“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones… It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.”

– Confucius –

 

We are all told to dream big right? but do you ever feel that your dreams are just a bit too big that they feel out of reach or the path towards your dreams is a bit too long and arduous?

I hear you.

I have one or two big goals on my agenda for this year and despite being super motivated focused and consistent – I too get in a slump from time to time – you know the feeling right?

Whilst we all understand that consistent effort towards our goals will guarantee success, sometimes it just feels like maybe you have bitten off more than you can chew and the sheer enormity of the task ahead just feels too much of a gap for you to bridge and before you know it the chink in your armour of determination allows those sabotaging thoughts to creep in.

Dan Sullivan calls this ‘Gap thinking’ in his book ‘The Gap and The Gain’.

Gap thinking is when we focus on the distance between us and our goal.

We all know that when it comes to goals, consistency is key.  Yet it is not always easy to maintain as we work toward our goals.

The challenge with consistency is that it can be difficult to sustain.

A tool I have found really helpful is Seinfeld’s – ‘Don’t break the Chain’

So, this is a practice where on the days you show up for your goals – whatever they may be, you mark an ‘X’ on your calendar or planner.

Your goal then becomes super simple:

Don’t break that chain of X’s!

The idea here is as follows:

It draws you back to the present moment.

It pushes you to focus on what you can control.

It is a visual reminder that progress made towards the goal is key motivator and not necessarily goal itself.

 

I have been on a fairly strict diet and exercise plan since the start of the year.

My goal is to loose 6 stone. Yes 6 stone!

Now loosing this amount of weight is going to take time, focus, huge amounts of willpower and determination.

I have a plan, the plan is straightforward and achievable, but it will take consistent and daily practice to achieve this goal.

If I continually focus on the amount of weight I have to lose, I will easily shift from motivated and determined to feeling discouraged hopeless and impatient with myself.  These feelings will lead to self-sabotage and I will more than likely give up on my goal.

Instead, I have to switch my perspective and focus very hard on ‘The Gain’ not ‘The Gap’.

This is where ‘Don’t break the chain’ is super useful.

Each day I stick to my diet and exercise plan I mark off an ‘X’ on the calendar.

All I need to focus on is that row of ‘X’s which represent the progress or ‘The Gain’ and in doing so ‘The Gap’ and the goal will take care of itself.

So how do you sustain that consistency in pursuit of your goals and dreams?

How do you keep your gaze fixated on the process and keep your eyes off the prize?

Focus on measuring your progress rather than results!

Or in the words of Dan Sullivan:

Measure The Gain, Not The Gap

We very often define our success by comparing where we are now against the ‘vision’ we set ourselves, say a year ago.

We compare what we’ve already achieved with what we want to achieve as an end.

This happens in everyday life.

I have recently started hillwalking and if you follow me on social media you will know I have set myself some big goals around the hills and mountains I want to climb.

When I first started hillwalking, I was always focused on just getting to the top.

I treated it like an endurance test. Almost blindfolded, head down trekking up hills, focused on the goal of getting to the top. I only really looked up to see how much further I had to go to reach the end.

In doing this, I very rarely noticed the beauty of my surroundings, I talked myself in and out of turning back and giving up on the hour every hour. It felt hard, It felt impossible. I questioned myself, and my ability to complete the climb and Why? because I was focused on the destination and not the journey. I was focused on ‘The Gap’ not ‘The Gain’.

It was only until I turned around and took the time to look at how far I had climbed, did I feel a sense of achievement and excitement and regained the momentum to keep going.

Now when I am hillwalking, I focus much more on the journey.  I notice my surroundings and I take time to stop and look behind me. It is a much more enjoyable process and I feel motivated to take each step forward and with each step I am rewarded by amazing views, and a sense of accomplishment.

It’s little shifts like these that pave the path in every aspect of life. When you look at how far you have come, it gives you the confidence to go further.

Let’s think of examples of how Gap thinking gets in the way of us achieving our goals:

 

Do you see it yet?

As we all know, the way we think defines how we experience the world around us. As we learn how to harness the power of our thoughts through our own metacognition, ie. being aware of our own thoughts, thinking about thinking, we learn to observe our thoughts, rather than merely engage with them all.

In doing this we are able to observe from different perspectives. And so, we learn how to observe progress from different angles.

We can change our ‘Gap thinking’ to ‘Gain thinking’.

In other words, instead of focusing how far you have left to go to get to the goal, focus on how much progress you have made towards the goal.

 

 

Focusing on your progress by looking backwards is defined as ‘The Gain,’ and it’s much more inspiring, motivational, and rewarding, than what lies ahead in ‘The Gap.’

 

Focus on Your Progress, Not Your Ideal

Another thing to consider is, when we are focused on ‘The Gap’ is that the gap will constantly grow bigger, and so naturally, you’ll become the rabbit chasing that elusive carrot.

Why?

We, as humans as are a constant work-in-progress. We are continually moving, changing, evolving and growing.

Who you were ten years ago is different to who you are today, and likewise, the person you will be in five, ten, fifteen years from now will be different to the person you are today.

As you constantly move and change so will your goal, visions, and ideals.

Life is a constant string of experiences and information and we make decisions based on those experiences and the information we have at the time. Naturally as these things change so do our goals, visions and ideals.

The goal of publishing a single book suddenly becomes two. T

The goal of launching a small side project turns into a full time 6 figure business.

Ben Nevis becomes Kilimanjaro… you get my point?

What you choose to pursue will constantly elude you because your ideal is a natural moving target.

In other words, the goal posts are moving.

So, if you fall for the trap of measuring your current self against your future self (the person who will have attained their goal), you’ll never be satisfied with where you are today because there will always be a gap to fill.

You’ll never feel worthy of yourself either.

And that’s precisely why it’s best to focus on your progress and why it should be the benchmark for your achievement.

How to be in The Gain, not The Gap

Measure your current self against your previous self.

Compare who you are today and where you are today with who you were yesterday.

Reflect and realise how far you have come and how much you have learned and how much growth you have achieved.

Think about the day you set those goals and consider the following:

Whatever highs or lows you uncover; I promise you this:

You will feel more FULFILLED.

You will feel more POWERFUL.

You will feel more GRATEFUL.

You will feel more CONFIDENT

You will feel more EMPOWERED

 

Why is measuring progress so important?

Through a meta-analysis of 138 studies comprising 19,951 participants, Professor Benjamin Harkin of the University of Sheffield discovered the following:

If you’re trying to achieve your goal, the more often you monitor your progress and physically record it, the greater the likelihood that you’ll succeed.

Why? Because, in the words of Dan Sullivan, ‘the feeling that we’re making progress is powerful and positive, but it only comes from knowing you’ve moved forward, and the only way to know that is through specific measurements.’

Whenever I would experience a slump in energy, I would open the sheet and look back at all the effort I’ve put in and all the progress that I’ve already made, and those two things alone would motivate me to carry on.

As you create a visual representation of your progress and focus on ‘The Gain’, you do three things:

  1. You keep yourself motivated.
  2. You lift yourself up when you’re feeling low on energy to carry on.
  3. You highlight the growth (in numbers) that you’ve already experienced, and that achievement alone gives you a reason to keep going.

 

‘The only progress you can achieve is the progress you measure.’

 

If you want some tips on how to switch Gap thinking to Gain thinking email info@empowercoaching.co.uk and I will gift you a FREE worksheet to support you with this.

Gain thinking is an integral part of my Goal Setter to Goal Getter program.

Cohorts start on 1st of each month and run for 12 months.

Contact me to find out more and how to book your place on the next cohort.