Shine Bright Like a Diamond

“The beautiful thing about setbacks is they introduce us to our strengths.”

 

The past few years have been some of the worst in my life.

Financial stress. Relationship problems. Being separated from my family, losing my income because of the pandemic.

Mentally I was a mess.

I thought I had hit rock bottom.

But the worst was yet to come.

I had been ignoring a myriad of health issues for years and finally decided to have a telephone consultant with the GP to talk about the various ailments I was suffering from which I felt were somehow part of a bigger issue.  I was sent for scans, blood tests more scans more tests, given medication – but nothing really pointed to what the issue was or why I was in so much pain.

I was told I just needed to live with it.

I had no energy – I put on ½ of my body weight in such a short period of time I felt sluggish and ached all day everyday.  My mental health was hanging by the most fragile of threads… I had been here before – I knew that if I didn’t do something I would not be here in a year.

One of my favourite motivational speakers, Eric Thomas, talks about how pressure creates diamonds. Just when you think you’ve had enough pressure and all you can bear, life turns up the heat.

I felt like I was burning alive!

I decided to have a total overhaul to try and regain my physical and mental health. I needed to break free and let go in order to move forward – which sounds easy but the reality was much harder.

The Japanese call this kensho, which means growth through pain or finding positivity in life’s challenges. If you want to become a diamond or a stronger version of yourself from whatever you are facing, here are some strategies that will help.

When coping with health challenges or any other challenges, you’ll probably filter your feelings with should and should nots:

I shouldn’t feel anxious, angry or sad.

I shouldn’t act so irrationally.

I should think more positively.

I should feel grateful it’s not worse.

I should hold myself together for those around me.

The simple truth is that you are going to feel all the emotions.

You are going to feel the symptoms of your pain.

It is easy to get stuck in the pain because until the pain stops, it’s hard to see a way out of it.

Give yourself permission to feel everything.

If life is continually knocking you down, of course you’ll feel angry. In fact, some anger is probably going to help. It’s the fuel you need to rise up and change things.

Allow yourself to feel every miserable thing without the guilt. It’s part of grieving and healing. You may need some time to grieve the loss of something physical or a way of life you imagined that now has to change. You may need to set aside some quiet time to check in with yourself and feel whatever you feel. Grieve what you need to let go.

But the way you make sure it doesn’t consume you is by allowing yourself to feel the good too. And it’s the good that you want to blow up and make bigger in your mind.

I bet there are so many little things you can appreciate about your life. You can take a moment to savour a healthy meal or feel the sun on your face or the breeze in your hair.

I find a lot of happiness in the funny things my children say or being outside in nature so I always make sure I am fully present at those times.

Small things won’t fix your big problems. Believe me, I know how hard it is to find the positives when anxiety takes over. No amount of mindfulness is ever going to fix the misery of a health problem that confines you to bed or the house. Nor will it take away the physical pain that you have to endure daily. Mindfulness and positive thinking is not going to magically make the bills disappear, pay your rent or feed your children.

But it can and it will take help the edge off, lift the fog so you can see new opportunities and give you strength to keep going.

You have a choice as to how you are going to face your problems – health or otherwise. You can let it take you down or you can use it as an opportunity to become a stronger version of yourself.

My life was filled with setbacks, challenges and health problems – Anxiety was inevitable. Pain was inevitable. Despite all this, I made a promise to myself that I would face it with strength and hope for a better future.

I had to start “training my brain” in the same way you might train your body for a big mountain climb or fitness event.

You can train your brain in a variety of ways. You can get support from positive people in your life. You can get counselling, therapy or coaching.  But you also need something you can do daily on your own.

One of the best ways to train your brain is through selective use of social media and Google.

Google positive stories, overhaul your social media so you only see things that make you feel happy.  Make sure the things you consume (media/social media) is putting you on a high vibration.

I train my mind by going for a walk everyday and listening to a motivating video or podcast. I also swim regularly and listen to music.  This was a way to calm and connect with myself and to keep building my mental strength.

Find videos/speakers that speak to your soul. Everyone will be different.

Whenever I felt overwhelmed or if something goes wrong – I remind myself that pressure causes diamonds.

There will be days it seems impossible to get out of bed. You will start to feel better and then you’ll feel worse. You will get overwhelmed and discouraged. No one is perfect, but you can be better day by day even with setbacks.

In the gym you build strength through progressive overload. This means doing a bit more each time you train.

When I coach my clients, I teach them that little steps lead to big results. It’s all about consistency and patience.

Along the way I will be patient and kind with myself and give my body what it needs. Some days I have to give in and just listen to my body – have a duvet day because that’s all I can manage.

I know how hard it can be to deal with challenges. Sometimes you have to let yourself cry and feel angry—or whatever else you feel.

In the face of setbacks always remember this is your opportunity to get stronger and healthier than ever before.

Pressure creates diamonds, and you can and will shine bright like a diamond.